Scared To Be Home Alone
© 2008, Pat Miller/Peaceable Paws
All Rights Reserved
www.peaceblepaws.com
SCARED TO BE HOME ALONE
By Pat Miller
The term “Separation Anxiety” is a pretty mild label for a devastating and destructive
behavior that can result in human frustration, anger, sometimes even the euthanasia of an
offending dog when a despairing owner reaches her wits’ end. If you’ve ever had the
misfortune of walking into your house to find overturned furniture, inches-deep claw
gouges on door frames, blood-stained tooth marks on window sills, and countless
messages on your answering machine from neighbors complaining about your dog
barking and howling for hours on end in your absence, you’re probably familiar with the
term. Thirty years ago the phrase was uncommon in dog training circles. Today it’s a rare
dog owner who hasn’t heard of separation anxiety, experienced it with a personal dog, or
at least had a dog-owning friend whose canine companion reportedly suffered from this
difficult disorder.
In her excellent book Clinical Behavioral Medicine for Small Animals, Dr. Karen Overall
defines separation anxiety as, “A condition in which animals exhibit symptoms of anxiety
or excessive distress when they are left alone.” Common signs of the condition include:
• destructive behavior,
• house soiling, and
• excessive vocalization.
Many dogs with this challenging behavior also:
• refuse to eat or drink when left alone,
• don’t tolerate crating,
• pant and salivate excessively when distressed, and
• will go to great lengths to try to escape from confinement, with apparent total
disregard for injury to themselves or damage to their surroundings.
It’s natural for young mammals to experience anxiety when separated from their mothers
and siblings; it’s an adaptive survival mechanism. A pup who gets separated from his
family cries in distress, enabling Mom to easily find him and rescue him. In the wild,
even an adult canine who is left alone is more likely to die - either from starvation, since
he has no pack to hunt with, or from attack, since he has no pack mates for mutual
protection. Given the vital importance of a dog’s canine companions, it speaks volumes
about their adaptability as a species that we can condition them to accept being left alone
at all! We’re lucky we don’t have far more problems than we do, especially in today’s
world, where few household have someone at home regularly during the day to keep the
dog company.
There was a time in our society when fewer dogs were left home alone – Mom stayed
home while Dad went off to work every day – so dogs had less exposure to the kind of
daily isolation that contributes to separation anxiety behavior. Some behavior scientists
theorize that experiencing a fear-causing event when a young dog is already mildly stressed about being alone can trigger more intense “home alone” anxiety behaviors. In
today’s world there are a significant number of dogs who are afflicted with some degree
of separation distress. Fortunately, many dog owners these days are willing to seek
solutions to behavior problems rather than just “getting rid of” the dog. As a result,
behavior professionals are likely to see canine clients with separation distress disorders.
Differential Diagnoses
Another reason separation anxiety seems so prevalent these days compared to a few
decades ago is that it is misdiagnosed with some frequency by laypersons. With an
increased awareness of the condition has come an increase in misidentification of
behaviors that resemble separation distress behaviors, but really aren’t.
For example, house soiling can be related to anxiety, but the cause could also be
incomplete housetraining, lack of access to appropriate elimination areas with
unreasonable owner expectations (expecting the dog to “hold it” for 10 hours or more);
fear, excitement, marking, submissive elimination, or physical incontinence. Destructive
behavior may a result of separation anxiety, or it could be normal puppy behavior, play,
reaction to outside stimuli, and/or an outlet for excess energy. Separation distress could
be the cause of excessive barking and howling, or the dog could be stimulated to bark by
street sounds (traffic, people talking), trespassers (i.e.: mail carrier, intruder, Girls Scouts
selling cookies), social facilitation (other dogs barking), play, aggression, or fear.
It’s critically important that a problem behavior be correctly identified prior to the
implementation of a behavior modification program. It does no good to try to modify
separation anxiety if that’s not really the problem. (See Sidebar: Case Study #1)
If elimination accidents occur when the owner is home as well as when the dog is left
alone, it’s more likely a housetraining problem than a separation issue. Separation-related
destruction is usually directed toward escape efforts – chewing or clawing at or through
doorframes, windowsills and walls. If the destruction is more generalized throughout the
house, it points toward one or more of the other possible causes, rather than an isolation
issue. A strategically located video camera or sound-activated tape recorder can help
identify possible outside stimuli, such as visitors to the home or unusual noises, that
might trigger what otherwise may appear to be separation-related behaviors.
A Continuum
Distress over being left alone is not always a full-blown separation anxiety problem. A
dog may suffer from mild to severe isolation distress or anxiety or mild to severe
separation distress or anxiety.
The difference between distress and anxiety is a matter of degree on a continuum.
“Distress” indicates a lower intensity of stress behaviors when the dog is alone, while
“anxiety” is an extreme panic attack. This distinction between “isolation” and
“separation” is equally important. Isolation distress means the dog doesn’t want to be left
alone – any ol’ human will do for company, and sometimes even another dog will fill the
bill. True separation distress or anxiety means the dog is hyper bonded to one specific
person, and continues to show stress behaviors if that person is absent, even if other
humans are present.
Our Cardigan Corgi, Lucy, suffers from moderate isolation distress – she doesn’t like to
be left alone outdoors. Before we realized the significance of her behavior, she managed
to injure herself badly, falling off a stone wall onto cement steps eight feet below in her
persistent attempts to reach us through a window. Indoors, her isolation distress is milder.
She may bark briefly if we leave her alone downstairs, but quickly calms and settles.
Missy, on the other hand, demonstrates true separation distress. The eight-year-old
Australian Shepherd had been in at least four different homes prior to joining our family
last Fall. As is sometimes the case with dogs who have been rehomed numerous times,
she attached herself to one of her new humans (me) completely and almost instantly. If
we are out cleaning the barn, it matters not to Missy that my husband is still there – if I
go back to the house for some reason she becomes hyper vigilant, watching anxiously for
me to return, ignoring Paul’s attempts to reassure her or engage in other activities.
Fortunately for us, her stress level is mild – other than some scratches inflicted to our
kitchen door on Day Two of her arrival to our home, she’s done nothing destructive – her
level of stress over my absence is low, and tolerable, and consists primarily of pacing and
whining. But it may explain why we’re at least her fifth (and final!) home.
Behavior Modification
There are a number of steps you can take to resolve your dog’s isolation or separation
anxiety behavior. The program spelled out in the accompanying sidebar, “Preventing
Separation Anxiety” can also be used to modify an existing isolation/separation
condition. However, you will progress much more slowly through the steps of the
program with a dog who suffers from separation-related behaviors; your dog’s strong
emotional response to being left alone will make this a much more challenging
proposition.
Here are some other avenues to explore, to complement your modification work:
y Exercise your dog well before you leave. A tired dog has less energy with which to be
anxious and destructive. Be sure to end your exercise session 20 to 30 minutes before
you go, so he has time to settle down.
y Five minutes before you leave, give him a well-stuffed Kong to take his mind off
your imminent departure.
y Make your departures and returns completely calm and emotionless. No huggy/kissy
“Mummy loves you” scenes. If he gets excited and jumps all over you when you
return, ignore him. Turn your back and walk away. When he finally settles down, say
hello and greet him very calmly.
y Defuse the pieces of your departure routine by also doing them when you are not
leaving. Pick up your car keys and sit down on the sofa to watch TV. Dress in your
business suit and then cook dinner. Set your alarm for 5:00 a.m. on a Saturday, then
roll over and go back to sleep.
y Mix up the pieces of your departure routine when you are leaving, so his anxiety
doesn’t build to a fever pitch as he recognizes your departure cues. We are creatures
of habit too, so this is hard to do, but can pay off in big dividends. Eat breakfast
before you shower instead of after. Pick up your keys and put them in your pocket
before you take your dog out for his final potty break. Put your briefcase in the car
while you are still in your bathrobe. Make the morning ritual as unpredictable as
possible.
y Use a “safe” cue such as “I’ll be back,” only when you know you’ll return within the
time period your dog can tolerate. As suggested in Patricia McConnell’s wonderful booklet on separation anxiety titled “I’ll Be Home Soon,” this helps your dog relax,
knowing he can trust you to return.
y Explore alternative dog-keeping situations to minimize the occasions when you do
have to leave him alone – doggie daycare may be suitable for some dogs, but not for
others. You may be able to find a neighbor or relative who is house-bound and might
appreciate some canine companionship.
y If you are considering adoption of a second dog, try borrowing a calm, stable,
compatible dog from a friend, to see if that helps to relieve your dog’s distress.
y Use Comfort Zone (DAP) plug-ins and sprays in his environment to help ease his
anxiety.
y Remove as many other stressors from your dog’s world as possible to help him
maintain his equilibrium in your absence. No choke chains, shock collars, physical or
harsh verbal punishment (especially in connection to his anxiety behaviors).
y Consider working with a behavior professional to be sure you’re on the right path. A
good behavior professional can also help you explore the possibilities of using anti-
anxiety medications to maximize the effectiveness of your modification efforts.
Fixing separation anxiety is hard work. It’s all too easy to get frustrated with your dog’s
destructive behavior. Remember that he’s not choosing to do it out of spite or malice – he
is panicked about his own survival without you, his pack, there to protect him. It’s not
fun for him either – he lives in the moment, and the moments that you are gone are long
and terrifying. If you make the commitment to modify his behavior and succeed in
helping him be brave about being alone, you’ll not only save your home from destruction,
you will enhance the quality of your dog’s life immensely – as well as your own, and
perhaps save him from destruction too.
SIDEBAR: PREVENTING SEPARATION ANXIETY
The most important ingredient in a successful Separation Anxiety Prevention Program is
to set your dog up for success. When you bring a new dog or puppy home, implement a
program to help him be comfortable with being alone for gradually increasing periods.
This will help to assure him that it’s not necessary to panic – you haven’t abandoned him;
you always come back. Be sure to exercise him well before you practice – a tired dog is a
much-better candidate for relaxation than one who’s “full of it.”
Here are the 10 steps of a two-day program to create a dog who is comfortable being left
alone:
1. Bring your dog home at a time when someone can spend a few days with him
to ease the stress of the transition.
2. Prepare a quiet, safe space in advance such as a playpen or puppy pen, or a
dog-proofed room such as a laundry room.
3. When you bring your dog home, give him a chance to relieve himself
outdoors, and spend 10-15 minutes with him in the house under close
supervision. Then put him in his pen and stay in the room with him.
4. Stay close at first. Read a book. If he fusses, ignore him. When he’s quiet,
greet him calmly, take one step away, and then return before he has a chance
to get upset. Speak to him calmly, then go back to reading. You’re teaching
him that if you leave, you will return. Other family members should make
themselves scarce during this time – your dog needs to learn to be alone.
5. Continue to occasionally step away, gradually increasing the distance and
varying the length of time that you stay away, so that eventually you can wander around the room without upsetting your dog. Each time you return,
greet him calmly. Every once in a while say “Yes!” in a calm but cheerful
voice before you return to him, then walk back to the pen and feed him a treat.
6. After an hour or so, give him a break. Take him outside to potty and play.
Hang out for a while. Then go back inside and resume his pen exercises.
7. Begin again, staying near the pen until he settles. More quickly this time,
move along steps 4 and 5 until you can wander around the room without
generating alarm. Now step into another room very briefly, and return before
your dog has time to get upset. Gradually increase the length of time you stay
out of the room, interspersing it with wandering around the room, sitting near
him reading a book, and sitting across the room, reading a book. If he starts to
fuss, wait until he stops fussing to move back toward him. Teach him that
calm behavior makes you return, fussing keeps you away.
8. Occasionally, step outside of the house. Your goal for day one is to get
Buddy comfortable with you being away from him for 15 to 20 minutes. (It’s
usually the first 20 minutes of separation that are most difficult) Vary the
times, so he doesn’t start getting antsy in anticipation of your return.
Remember to give him plenty of potty and play breaks: every hour for a
young pup, every one to two hours for an older dog.
9. On Day 2, quickly go through the warm-up steps again, until you can step
outside for 15-20 minutes at a time, interspersed with shorter separations. On
one of your outdoor excursions, hop into your car and drive around the block.
Return in 5-10 minutes, and calmly re-enter the house just as you have been
during the rest of the exercises. Hang out for a while, then go outside and
drive away again, for a half-hour this time.
10. Now it’s time for Sunday brunch. Be sure your dog gets a thorough potty
break and play time, then give him fifteen minutes to relax after the
stimulation of play. Put his favorite stuffed Kong into his pen, round up the
family, and calmly exit the house for an outing of a couple of hours’ duration.
When you arrive home to a calm and happy dog, drink an orange juice toast to
your graduation from Separation Anxiety Prevention School.
11.
*Note – If you are modifying an already existing distress or anxiety condition you will
need to work through the steps of the program much more slowly.
Graduate School
It’s unfair to ask a young dog to stay home alone for eight to ten hours – he needs to get
out to relieve himself midway through the day. If you force him to soil the house, at
worst you can cause stress-related behaviors, at best you may create housetraining
problems. Options may include taking him to work with you, having family members
come home on their lunch hour, arranging for stay-at-home neighbors to take him out,
hiring a pet walker to walk him and play with him, or sending him to a well-run doggie
daycare environment. (Note – the daycare option is not appropriate for a very young
pup.)
If you set up a routine to help your dog succeed, he’ll someday earn his Master’s Degree
in Home Alone, and be trusted with full house freedom. It may be too late for some dog
owners to say they’ve never had had a dog with Separation Anxiety, but it’s never too
late to say “never again.”
SIDEBAR – CASE STUDY: MISDIAGNOSIS
Lexi was a five-year-old spayed female Husky/Greyhound mix in rescue, presented by
the foster mom as having separation anxiety that manifested as destructive behavior. Lexi
had been in several prior foster homes, none of which reported destructive behavior.
As we discussed Lexi’s behavior during her behavior consultation, the dog paced almost
constantly, and displayed numerous other signs of general stress, including whining,
attention-seeking and exploring doorways, even though her current human was sitting
quietly in a chair in the center of the room. Her behavior did not change significantly
when her human left the room.
The foster parent mentioned that she had noted a heightened anxiety when Lexi heard
“mystery electronic beeping” in the house – probably from a watch hidden in a drawer
that the owners were unable to locate. She also reportedly reacted badly to the beeps of
other watches, cameras, and other electronic devices.
I concluded that while Lexi did, indeed, have anxiety problems, they were not separation-
related but rather a more generalized anxiety. While we have no way of knowing for sure,
I surmised that at some point she may have been contained in an underground shock
fence, and the beeping sounds that caused her heightened anxiety were similar to the
warning beep of the fence. For a dog who has been trained to such a fence, the sound of
the beep, through association with the shock, can be every bit as aversive and stress-
causing at the shock itself.
We implemented a behavior modification program for generalized anxiety that included
partnering with a veterinarian for the administration of anti-anxiety medication, and the
foster parent made sure not to leave Lexi alone with access to the room where the
mystery beeping occurred (the kitchen). Lexi was eventually adopted and is doing well in
her new home, where her owners are continuing her behavior modification program.
Peaceable Paws LLC
Pat Miller, CPDT, CDBC
301-582-9420
www.peaceablepaws.com
Pat Miller is a Certified Dog and Horse Behavior Consultant and Certified
Professional Dog Trainer. She offers classes, behavior modification services, training
clinics and academies for trainers at her Peaceable Paws training facility in Fairplay,
Maryland, and presents seminars worldwide. She has authored “The Power of Positive
Dog Training,” “Positive Perspectives,” “Positive Perspectives 2,” and “Play With Your
Dog.” Miller is training editor for The Whole Dog Journal, writes for Tuft’s University’s
Your Dog, and several other publications. She shares her home with husband Paul, five
dogs, three cats, five horses and a donkey.
